The first day of spring makes a long hard winter worthwhile to me. Yesterday, as Jake and I stood and watched the kids at playground, I felt a bit invincible for a moment. The snow was gone, the sun was out, and all the complaints I had over the course of the winter seemed so far away and trivial.
Today, it is once again cloudy, the rain is cold and I want a fire in the fireplace. The kids are lethargic, as am I, and I am yearning for days of summer.
Remember ten years ago, when every summer day was one of introspection, excitement, and endless possibilities? I remember the scent of my mother's house, the sounds of kids splashing in the lake, and the knowledge that there was parties everywhere. I drove an old Subaru, with a collection of clothes in back from all my late night skinny dipping sessions. My friends were the most valuable things I had...I felt so free and so young then, the "future" was such a strange concept. Packing up a car and driving to the ocean with Laurie was not just a possibility, or a compulsion, but a necessity. (do you remember the boys in the saab?)
So now, when I stand in the park watching my children on the swings, I can't help but feel a bit of envy. I want to tell them to eat every delicious bite of life, not to pass up new experiences, and to always remember what summer smells like. Because for the rest of my life, every time I see new buds on the trees, or smell a barbecue, or hear DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince singing Summetime, I will get a little thrill down my spine.
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